Adulthood

Posted on Oct 22, 2018 in Self-Help

If you shifted your perspective to see others as their child selves, would you still hold onto the mental formations that rise to block pure relation – judgement, expectation, fear etc.? Or would you be reminded of one’s innate sensitivity and fallibility; of one’s unending need for love and support and safety?

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We do not grow out of these basic human needs, nor do we develop armor impenetrable to the pains of life. There is no adulthood initiation where we’re supplied with the smarts and strength to steer us smoothly through all situations.

We are creatures of many requirements and limited resources. Our nature necessitates for us affection and appreciation, sustenance and shelter, contribution and community, purpose and play. We need authenticity and we need freedom. We need to learn and mourn and rest. We need to be heard and understood. We need communication. We need ease and we need harmony. These are some of the many ingredients for human health and invariably are what motivate our actions.

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When we remember this we open ourselves to the possibility of connection through conflict.

The greatest gift we can give our fellow man is to seek to understand where they are coming from. To mute our inner voice that qualifies another’s behavior as wrong, as a personal attack or as an act of evil.

The greatest gift we can give is to guess at what needs were driving their choices. In this we soften as we recognize that we too have these needs and though we may not connect with their strategy we can connect with their humanness.

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