Thoughts

Non-Attachment

Posted by on May 13, 2016 in Self-Help, Thoughts | 1 comment

I often overhear prideful words on the subject of non-attachment.

My self-proclaimed hippy friend recently said aloud, “gross, look at that girl with the expensive designer bag. I’m not pretentious like that. I don’t care about money. I don’t shop in those high-end stores, I shop in used clothing stores.”  What she was attempting to share about was her freedom from an attachment to money, however what i heard was an example incomplete.

If one truly didn’t care about money, yes, they might shop at an inexpensive vintage store, but they also wouldn’t blink an eye over spending a larger sum of money on an item that they liked from a more expensive store. True non-attachment to money comes by maintaining an indifference to a cost – a purchase is based solely on the desire for the good or service.

In another case, a person with more substantial wealth may have attachments to their own idea of money. Though it appears that they are comfortable spending any amount on a whim, when it comes to the sale rack, something changes for them. They’ve become averse to buying the discounted item because it’s newly designated monetary value has now deemed it “less than.”

Freedom from this internal evaluative dialogue would be buying the vintage tee because it’s comfy and the diamonds because of their sparkle. That is living beyond the designated value of money and “not caring about money”

There are many sides to non-attachment. When you say you don’t care about one side, check yourself. Is it possible there is an opposing side… Maybe one that you weren’t aware of, one that you are unknowingly clinging to? Check yourself. Are you behaving self-righteously? Are you holding yourself up by the judgements you have of others?

When I hear, “I don’t care what people say about me. They can put me down all they want, I don’t care.” I’m curious to question, “Do you truly not care what people say? Check yourself. How do you react when you are complemented?” If you really didn’t care what people said you’d give this positive feedback the same zero weight as you did the negative. Ask yourself, is it that you hear others’ words, acknowledge any positive intention and then allow them to roll right off your back; or, is it that these affirmations funnel into a reservoir of pride? Do they feed an identity to which you feel attached?

When i hear, “I don’t like that – insert mainstream pop song title here -,” I want to inquire. “Is it that you actually don’t enjoy this beat, or is it just that you don’t enjoy the idea of yourself liking the song?”

Is there an image of yourself that you are too attached to to challenge?

Maybe one time, you can let yourself dance along, in public, even though it may be incongruent with the image you have of yourself.

Maybe you can release yourself, with the realization that these are innocent notes on a page, simple sound waves, valueless vibrations, that aren’t born with any inherent meaning… Maybe you can release yourself with the realization that you too are as simple and innocent. That you too have no fixed form or identity.


“I’m not vain and attached to my appearances. I don’t take photos of myself, like these other people posting selfies all the time.” Whether an individual takes one picture of themselves or 20; whether it ends up as their facebook profile pic or on a billboard; the only relevant factor is their relationship to that picture.

The amount of attention a photo receives also doesn’t reflect the humbleness of its subject. The woman next door might have an IG account with 10 followers and she could be completely consumed with her image; believing that it is the whole representation of herself. And there could be a famous runway model, with plenty of photoshoots under her belt, who is down-to-earth with few delusions about her image.

I realized a couple years ago that I was trying to fit a particular image I had of myself. In the past I’ve had times where I’ve had an aversion to being photographed – I thought of getting one’s picture taken as act of ego. I saw it as being prideful and vain. I valued humility and thought by refraining from photos I would be supporting the growth of this character trait.

The catch here was, I was caught up trying to maintain a self-image of modesty. This subconscious preoccupation kept me from being genuinely present – from simply being a part of a photograph because it was fun; from posting a picture of myself because it represented an enjoyable time; from sharing a photo of a cheesy grin because I think the world could use more smiles.

It’s sneaky, but this pursuit of the ego-free identity, actually feeds the ego!

To really be free from this trap, to really be humble, is not to not take selfies. it is to take selfies but without attachment to them. It is not to hide from a lens, but to examine what comes up in oneself when in the presence of one.

It is to have photos in one’s life, to have the presence of form, without having it be the definition of one’s being. Ceci n’est pas Kat Green.

 

 Like this post? You may also enjoy Selfies or Inner & Outer.

selfie-girl

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Kindness

Posted by on May 5, 2016 in Self-Help, Thoughts | 0 comments

I have never regretted being kind.

To hold kindness as a practice important as any other means being kind, not just when it’s convenient; not just when you are with your friends; not just when things are going your way; not just when you feel well; and not just to people’s faces. It is about being kind to the irrational driver who cut you off; the dog that won’t stop barking; the store clerk who is being short with you; the mosquito buzzing in your ear; the late bus driver who messed up your plans; the family member who won’t change; the you who dropped the ball with your diet this week.

Being kind in your heart is not about the way you handle the jerks that come your way; being kind in your heart is about seeing all beings with enough understanding and compassion so that you aren’t seeing anyone as a jerk… You aren’t seeing a jackass, you are seeing an individual who is in pain; you aren’t seeing an idiot, you are seeing someone who is confused; you aren’t seeing an asshole, you are seeing someone who is suffering.

This way of being is really about shedding the lenses we’ve come to adopt – the lenses of judgement, fear, expectation and resentment through which we see the world. It is about getting back to an eye that is clear, an eye that is pure love… an I that is one with all.

In this space we find a reservoir of patience and understanding. And in this space, kindness flows.
.pema-chodron

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Judgement

Posted by on Apr 5, 2016 in Thoughts | 0 comments

When a person speaks in judgement of others (of their physique, of their ability, of their choices etc.), they reveal their hand. They display to the world their own deepest insecurities.

 

 Like this post? You may also enjoy Jealousy or Taking Things Personally.

judgement

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Inner & Outer

Posted by on Feb 23, 2016 in Self-Help, Thoughts | 0 comments

Your body is a reflection of your choices.

Your life is a reflection of your thoughts.

Your relationships are a reflection of your self.

 

 Like this post? You may also enjoy Living or Jealousy.

self-reflection

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Time

Posted by on Sep 5, 2015 in Self-Help, Thoughts | 0 comments

There is no such thing as time wasted.

It is all perfect and in this, there is no space for regret.

A tree spends its lifetime in devotion – stretching up, digging down, bending with, feeding on, adapting to and growing strong – every process, an effort towards bearing fruit.

And after those many years, if one of its apples is not picked, it falls.

But the tree doesn’t say, “Oh no, all that energy for nothing, what a waste!” It simply lets gravity deliver its harvest to the ground. There, it will feed the ecosystem that will provide nourishment for its roots.

You are always growing. In this process, nothing is wasted.

 

 Like this post? You may also enjoy Seeds or Future Unknowns.

wasted-time

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Personal Pics

Posted by on Aug 24, 2015 in Thoughts | 0 comments

My verdict on selfies is still out.
selfie-kat-green
Prompted by having more and more long distance relationships, for me they’ve functioned as a way of saying, “Hey I’d like to share this moment with you. So i’m going to snap a picture and send it to you so that perhaps you may glean some enjoyment. I want to take a part of my happenings and insert it into your happenings so that we might find company in some fragment of reality… so that we might be more connected.”

I would like to feel more connection.

Somehow the world is getting smaller and the ppl in it are getting farther apart.

I want to be closer to the people i love. I want to be more in love with the people I am close to.

To me, this seems to be a shared sentiment – that somehow selfies say, “I can’t look into your eyes or touch your skin right now. But i’d like to. I’m just a silly lil’ human being, attempting to make contact in this silly modern world.

 

 Like this post? You may also enjoy Selfies or Non-Attachment.

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