Negativity

Posted on Jun 21, 2017 in Self-Help

We’ve all felt some version of depression. And, it’s okay, it’s part of life to have ups and downs. It’s part of life to have passion and motivation that waxes and wanes. The trouble is when we settle in a place of apathy and negativity and then root ourselves there.

The trouble is when our stories eclipse the truth of our reality. One can be sad without the drama of judgement and fear. This drama is a the roller coaster that is neither healthy nor sustainable.

Self-care is all about building a foundation that can support us through these difficult times. If we aren’t practicing healthy habits and proceeding with a positive outlook, we set ourselves up for real suffering. How are you taking care of yourself?

Going to yoga; growing friendships; eating healthy; choosing not to intake toxins like cigarets, alcohol and processed food; painting, playing in the ocean, prayer, talk therapy with a focus on healing old wounds; listening to music; finding things that make you laugh; gardening; reflecting on gratitudes; dancing; journaling… these are all examples of ways we can nurture our being.

All the things you do to address the elements of wellness in your life, these are all the things that strengthen your foundation & decorate your home into it’s fullest beauty.

I say that your life is like your home in the sense that you are responsible for its blueprint and its maintenance. Granted it’s work, but in this you’re also gifted the opportunity to create — to play in the design of it and craft this house into the most fabulous piece of art!

So be sure to avoid the passive route, because nothing gets built & nothing gets maintained.

And two, avoid the negative route, because that toxicity corrodes strength & tarnishes the beauty of life.

For more on this topic, watch “Living with Depression and Negativity”.

 

 

“…When I’m depressed I just take a long nap cause normally there ain’t much around to keep me company but I don’t blame my male friends cause I find it difficult to share my problems and the cause of depression with guys…
Meantime I have a question like ain’t getting over depression like running away from it like you try to divert your mind towards something else to get over it. Ugh this thing really confuses me…” – SD

 

I appreciate your honesty. I’m sorry you don’t have the support you are looking for right now. On that point I would invite you to try out being a little more vulnerable with some of these friends. Perhaps they are in the same boat you are — desperate for support and genuine connection. (We are all human remember!) It might open open the door for them to share some of what’s been hard for THEM lately. OR, they also might not be ready for that kind of intimacy and that’s okay. I’ve found for myself though, that the more authentic and vulnerable I am, I start to attract those same kinds of people into my life.

This is a great question regarding: getting over depression, is it like running away from it? It makes sense that there’d be confusion around it because there is a fine line here…

Sometimes we feel low, in need of rest and perhaps sad – these are simply the emotions that have drifted our way. To not run away is to BE WITH THEM in acceptance and non-judgement. “Okay I feel blue today, isn’t that interesting. I’m just going to take it easy.”

AND SOMETIMES what we are experiencing as depression is just a conjure of feelings that stem from the untruths we tell ourselves. “I failed at my job, I’m useless… I’m ugly and I’ll never find a partner… I’ll never be successful… I suck at life… The world is an evil place… I’m broken… Grrrr….”

We can then get into a habit of mental thinking and daily rituals that further fuel these false stories. We’ve now repeated them for so many years that we couldn’t even guess at their genesis. What we’ve done is create an identity for ourselves and a seemingly solid reality of our life.

I’m not a supporter of running away by any means.

Sometimes what we do need to do is STEP AWAY from our THOUGHTS. This brings us into the present moment where we can truly honor what’s going on. Stepping out of these thought patterns also empowers us to direct our life in the way we’d like, rather than just being a victim of our depression. When we come to the present we come to a place of choice. We can choose negativity or we can choose gratitude; we can choose pessimism or we can choose trust; we can choose resistance or acceptance.

This message is also what is behind my “15 Ways to Get Out of a Rut” video. 

_____________________

“Sometimes depression isn’t about ‘not doing enough to pull yourself out of it’. You speak a lot of balance and I love it. We as humans can be grateful AND sad. Wellness and depression both exist. Self care gets really shaky when depression gets terrible.” – Sage

 

Thanks for that input Sage. I do agree, sometimes depression JUST IS. It’s a cloud that just is. What I think is common for a number of us, is that the cloud has either been self-created or there is a negativity by which we judge the cloud – rather than just being with it, observing it, and maybe even finding gratitude for the shade.

It’s not always as simple as “pulling oneself out of it,” but while we are in it, it’s important for us to ask:

How are we judging ourselves? What is our internal dialogue around life?

I want us to come back to our power! I want us to remember that our interpretation of life and therefore our experience, is within our control.

2 Comments

  1. wise beyond your years

    • Thanks for reading Greg and I appreciate the positive feedback 🙂

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