The Truth

Dating online, dating in person. Getting to know a new friend, colleague or boss. Our life is an unfolding of relationships. Knowingly or unknowingly, what masks are we wearing and how do we posture ourselves in them? What do we hide and what do we choose to reveal? When is it safe to be our whole selves? These answers are not always clear and so in every interaction, we dance - each step testing the ground beneath to see if it might hold our full, relaxed weight. We want to let go because we want connection, and one cannot have intimacy without vulnerability.

When examined, the typical phases of a relationship (whether it be romantic, friendship or internet) are quite humorous. The first offering of oneself is often the squeaky clean version. Makeup and manners and moods in check. We do this, not necessarily because we’re disingenuous, rather because we are excited about a new mate; or because we are striving for, and therefore practicing this version of ourselves. With time however we get comfortable enough or brave enough, or have collapsed enough to say, “I have a secret… I’m not a one-dimensional creature. Beyond the face that you’ve seen, I have others and those are more of a work in progress. I still deal with fears and insecurities and I don’t have my life entirely together. I don’t always act like a monk or speak like a poet or look like a model or train like a jock.” The bigger secret, and the punchline, is that – WE ARE ALL A WORK IN PROGRESS. Every day we fall apart and put ourselves together again – but never back in quite the same way, as each day new pieces are formed. There are new cracks to track and new facets to catch the light. Every day we make art with our existence, never entirely the master or the pieces. When we remember the universality of this process, we can shed the shame that keeps us disconnected. And when we can recognize the divine work of this process, we’ll come to see the beauty in all beings. Including ourselves.

♥